The EI Connection
By Kira Vermond, Forum Magazine (The Financial Advisors Association of Canda)

Earlier this year, Judith Cane, financial advisor with Wealth Strategies in Ottawa, was strolling around one of her client's homes, eating birthday cake to celebrate the woman's big 5-0, when another client took her by the arm and introduced her to fellow partygoers. "I'd like you to meet Judith Cane," said her wealthy patron who had recently become widowed. "She saved my life." As the client went on to tell everyone that Cane had been gentle and patient - and was able to help her come up with a plan she could live with for the rest of her life - Cane, who advises women how to handle their finances, was taken aback. This client had never said anything so profound about their relationship before, despite Cane having led her through the financial labyrinth of integrating assets and winding down the deceased husband's business.

But Cane freely admits she did more than that. When she had called this client, a successful real estate agent, out of the blue to talk about a house she was thinking of buying, she wasn't prepared for the story of the woman's recent loss and grief. Yet she'd heard stories like it often before.
"I just let her talk," Cane says now. "If you want to talk about emotional intelligence, that's it. Being able to be patient and listen and give clients the information they're looking for."

The EQ Question?

She's right of course. In fact, Cane, who is personable over the phone and can only be described as frank, shows one of the hallmarks of someone who is emotionally intelligent - empathy.

Emotional intelligence quotient (EQ), also known as EI, is a measurement of how well - or how poorly - people deal with everyday trials and tribulations. People who are emotionally intelligent are able to monitor their own and others' emotions and use that knowledge to guide the way they think and act. EQ describes such qualities as self-awareness, impulse control, self-motivation, the ability to motivate others, feeling empathy and social awareness. In short, EQ is about interpersonal skills.

For example, someone with a high emotional intelligence quotient would be less likely to blow up at a colleague during tax season when piles of paper begin their quick climb. Instead, this person evaluates his stress and comes up with creative ways of dealing with it. People with a high EQ are often excellent team players, natural leaders and negotiators. Less emotionally intelligent people focus primarily on the task at hand and often unintentionally miss valuable information that could help them become more successful.

In fact, according to some studies, in jobs that involve sales and mechanical skills, employees with high emotional intelligence are 12 times more productive than employees with a lower EQ. Other research suggests that insurance sales professionals and account managers with high emotional intelligence are 127 per cent more productive. Additional studies go on to indicate that emotional intelligence accounts for 15 per cent to 45 per cent of a person's job success, while IQ only accounts for less than six per cent.

"We all sell the same funds. We all use the same financial planning software, so essentially, we're all going to come up with the same financial plan. But what it comes down to is this: What happens afterwards?" says Cane.

Of course, there is the ultimate crux of the matter: Can a person learn to become more emotionally intelligent? Is it possible to teach someone how to be more empathetic, understanding and caring? Yes and no, says Bill Brooks, author of The New Science of Selling and Persuasion: How smart companies and great sales people sell.

"Skills are teachable. Emotional intelligence is strictly refinable," he says. Others, like Gerald Butler, a financial planner with Wealth Planning Group in Winnipeg, think EQ is much more flexible than that. Butler is thrilled EQ has received legitimacy. He admits he was never the best student in school, but was always able to connect with other kids. Butler's whole practice is founded on his ability to understand his clients and offer them the most relevant solutions.

Unlike IQ, which is known to be set by the time a person reaches early adulthood, EQ can be modified as a person learns new skills to cope with daily stresses and challenges. Even reading and forging close friends helps people become more emotionally intelligent over time. The main issue is that you must want to change in order to get results.

"And here's the good news," says Butler, who admits his success is based on understanding clients on a personal level. "Our emotional intelligence improves with age."

Whistle while you work?Being able to connect with others can only happen if you know how to connect with yourself, says Butler. He remembers a time when a client who was suffering from cancer walked into his office building for a small company celebration. She was obviously hurting. Frail. Half her former self. When he saw her, they embraced, not caring who else witnessed their affection. "It was sincere. This doesn't just happen," he says.

Butler admits he builds such strong ties with clients because he works on understanding how his own moods influence others. He knows that if he is truly content with his life and his own decisions, other people will be drawn to him.

Not long ago, Butler attended a weekly networking meeting in a nearby town. Despite waking up at 4:30 a.m. to be there on time, Butler was raring to go. He wanted to perform a small test. What would happen if he decided to choose happiness over boredom? Exuberance over shyness? How would everyone respond?

"I could feel that people were attracted to that. It wasn't anything I said. It was just the smile on my face, the hand on the shoulder," he says now.

Happiness can't be faked, he continues. But choosing happiness isn't so hard. And neither is choosing to listen to clients, if you just remind yourself to do it before they walk into your office and sit down.

One surefire way to lose a prospective client? Talk more about yourself and the services you offer than the person who is sitting in front of you, holding that wad of cash.

"I think most planners think they have to get right to proving how intelligent they are. People don't care how much you know. They want to know how much you care," Butler maintains.

Give 'em what they need?

Being a good listener will only take you so far, however, says Cane. At some point you're going to have to do your job and help the client down the road to financial freedom. People with high emotional intelligence are able to take information from a client (sometimes without the client even realizing they've given it - as in the case of body language) and then act on that information.

Cane says she always asks new clients how many times they want to be contacted. Some more nervous types tend to require a couple of calls a week if an investment isn't performing as well as in the past. Another client, a 75-year-old whirlwind in pearls, comes in for a face-to-face only once a year - and Cane practically has to hijack her to get her to commit to even that. One more client who just lost her husband gets a friendly call a few times a week just to be sure she's OK. "It's about reading people to know what they need or don't need," she says.

In addition to personal meetings, Cane hosts financial planning seminars for women so attendees can feel comfortable asking about simple concepts such as dollar cost averaging or how to read a prospectus without worrying about sounding stupid. Invariably, a couple of these women become clients.

Using knowledge of clients' needs works to bring new ones in, but also helps keep them in your roster. Cane hosts two types of client events: one for golfers and one for quilters. The women pick up a golf or quilting lesson and Cane gets an hour of their time to talk money.

"Honestly, I know so much about them and I'm so in tune with them that I can anticipate what they're looking for," she says.

Can't be faked?

If emotional intelligence can be learned, as many proponents say, can't it be faked as well? Bob Clarke, personal coach and neuro-linguistic programming trainer from Life Potential Developments in New Minas, Nova Scotia, pauses for a moment before he speaks.

"You always have that choice to use it for no good," he admits, before saying that faking sincerity or empathy probably wouldn't work anyway. "A salesperson once said to me, 'You don't have to worry about that bomb - because everybody has a built-in BS detector.'"

People are much better at picking up non-verbal clues than we give them credit for. The conscious mind is able to pick up seven things at once - one of the reasons why we have seven-digit phone numbers. The unconscious mind is much more crafty, picking up millions of pieces of information. If that half-smile on your face looks pasted on, don't expect anyone to feel completely comfortable around you - or write you a cheque. Butler says he can tell he has a new client's trust within the first hour. They open up with him. Lean a little closer to listen to him speak. Smile more too. Cane agrees that faking EQ is next to impossible. The best advice? Dig deep. Learn ways to connect to others - and hire a personal coach if you have to. "You have to be careful that it doesn't become smarmy because that's when you cross the line to become patronizing and condescending. Your client might not be smart financially, but if they're smart, they'll see through that in a second," she warns.